Marley
did not become a devoted debauchee all of a sudden: he savoured each ill-fated
sip of froth-filled beer and hallucinogenic fix of cannabis he consumed on his
cold and lifeless voyage to sensual and cerebral enslavement.
See he was
shadowed by an obscure fondness for self-satisfaction and psychedelic bliss
right after he had graduated from college; and a lethal cocktail of alcoholic
beverages and cannabis that he binged on insatiably, rehabilitated his
existence in the nastiest manner conceivable: he unintentionally stumbled on
the uneasy realisation that he could not function without the benefit of
alcohol in his body. Yet he did not resist this sinister and shameful neediness
with the honesty and mental astuteness it so rightfully deserved. Instead he
chose to cave in to his extravagant desires and embrace decadence with an
emphatic and coarse keenness for illicit and uninhibited fun that transgressed
all the boundaries humanity had set in his young life.
He
had a car once: a brown Renault. It ran incredibly well and boasted an amazing
and unblemished interior. But this praiseworthy and entirely uncharacteristic
acquisition from Marley could not outrun his sleazy cravings on one frenzied
night of senseless overindulgence: his small Renault sustained massive
mechanical failure after he had used it without checking to see if the engine
had sufficient oil in it. And after all that reckless drama had settled down:
it was unfortunate that he did not have the financial resources to fix the
little car. So he sold his first and only car for what amounted to be a
pittance and never moved on from that serious setback. He lost his moral
steadfastness and ended up enmeshed in an endless state of dreadful inebriation
and awkward malnourishment. Because he would drink a few beers before he went
to work early in the morning and this bad habit fast matured into an unhealthy
and high-priced obsession that would obliterate all he had worked for in his short
career as a high school teacher.
Marley
lost all of his household furniture and electric appliances when moneylenders
seized his belongings after he had defaulted on enormous debt settlements.
However each and every time Marley looked down and out – he fabricated
money-spinning schemes to further fund his noxious inclinations. Like the
clothing store account he abused for hard cash. He would buy clothes for
friends and family and complete strangers on credit – for a much-reduced fee of
course – but would avoid paying his debts at the end of the month and endeavour
to remove debit orders associated with his bank account. So his mountain of
debts and newfound dubiousness swelled uncontrollably.
But
Marley could not outfox the sober ramifications of alcohol abuse and constant
inhalation of cannabis for very long. Still twenty-something he looked old and
emaciated and thoroughly humbled by the dual machinations of carelessness and
childishness: he would borrow money from his students and never return it; his
small family would go hungry at night, while he came home penniless and as
drunk as a skunk; and he had a growing tendency to physically assault his wife
whenever she found fault in his ruinous conduct. So she left home for some
time. That is how low Marley was drowning in alcohol-induced chaos and
vileness. That is how far his love for alcohol had commanded him over the moral
precipice.
I
often reminisce about Marley. But I recall how alcohol and brilliant and
ebullient banter lent an emblematic and exhilarating ambiance to his slow and
nonchalant decline from a loving family man and studious teacher to a
hopelessly impoverished drunk – to the extent where I could not blame Marley
for his miserable emasculation. For I remember that Marley and I became much
closer than acquaintances in his darkest days: we became friends. So I cannot
forget how we felt so gloriously invulnerable to the never-ending passage of
time and wholly immune from the stresses and strains of becoming responsible
adults. See it was not only Marley who had found himself ensnared in a menacing
web of hedonistic jolliness: I drank a lot – fully convinced I had no anxieties
over alcohol to reflect on.
I
drank alcohol after work. I drank alcohol on Fridays. I drank alcohol on
Saturdays and Sundays as well. My Saturdays in particular often got off to a cheerful
start. I would have my first bottle of beer around ten in the morning. I liked
it that way – nice and early, just after I had had my breakfast. By the time it
was early afternoon on a Saturday, I would have drunk about six or more beers;
and by seven at night: I would be utterly smashed. But I was not alone in my
obsession with alcohol. I had multitudes of likeminded friends and
acquaintances to socialise with wherever I went to. And I never ran short of
environments that enabled and enthusiastically promoted an abnormally high
consumption of alcohol through so-called happy hours and special offers. So I
would drink hard and drive home in whatever state of intoxication I happened to
be in.
I
had chosen heedless madness over clean and clearheaded logic and considered
alcohol-related concerns and fatalities as unfortunate but unavoidable
manifestations of fate. I had sacrificed my soul for erratic outbursts of sheer
elation and habitual spells of out-and-out helplessness and passionately placed
my faith in the false sanctity and free-spiritedness of YOLO: you only live
once. I had found odd motivations for countless instances of matrimonial
disharmony and acrimonious estrangements manufactured by alcohol abuse among my
friends and family. I had paid no mind to scandalous illustrations of child
neglect and abandonment around me. I had coolly snubbed the seriousness of
substance abuse and championed debauchery with wild enthusiasm and macho
vigour. I had sunk my cultured restlessness in an ocean of gin-soaked denial.
While I have eluded my demons and quit alcohol – Marley has not.
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